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What? Are you afraid to succeed in life?

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I will not hide from you that I have sometimes experienced not only the fear of failure, which for many is the most normal thing, but also the fear of success. I didn't know what it was all about. I really struggled to understand why this fear exists and what it serves.

You will certainly remember moments in your life that you are tired of. You will have stayed up late. You will have sacrificed things and personal moments with your loved ones. You will have invested money and a lot of hope to reach your goal! So that your wishes come true and your dream takes shape. And when that time comes when you feel like you're going to live what you've been fighting for for so long... that's when the hard stuff starts.

Strange thoughts come to your mind: "What if something goes wrong?", "If I succeed how will I keep myself up? What if I fall again?", "Is this really what I'm meant to do?", "Will I be able to live up to the expectations of others? What if I don't succeed?", "Will I be able to handle the responsibilities that this success brings?" These are some of the doubts that flood your mind and as a result you start making mistakes and can't concentrate. This is what is hiding in your subconscious mind and is called "too much success". It's the level of success we wouldn't want to reach because of the fear it causes.

Welcome to the club! The bad thing about this fear is that you don't know it's there until it hits. We've been raised with the mentality that any fear is the enemy. That is, we refuse to deal with it as it should be dealt with and to our advantage. And yet, fear of success in this case has useful messages to give you if you harness it properly.

Tip 1: "It's not as lonely at the top as you think"

You probably have professional beliefs that are pulling you back: "It's lonely at the top", "You don't succeed in life unless you step on bodies", "When you succeed you lose yourself", etc. It is important for you to understand that to succeed you don't have to lose yourself. Sure you will have to change the way you think, analyze and handle certain situations but your success leads you on the path of self-improvement, to a better version of yourself. Also, successful people don't mean that they got this far by taking advantage of other people and if they did, it won't lead them to happiness and personal satisfaction.

My opinion is that real success goes hand in hand with happiness. Also, at the "top" it's not as lonely as you think. Successful people are always surrounded by other people who want to learn from them, help them or benefit from their relationship. Of course you can have a social life, with discipline and good time planning, you can stay connected to the people you love while working to reach your goal.

Tip 2: "The top is only there to be conquered"

You're probably afraid to manage it. The truth is that when you succeed, you move into a new situation for you. You've never experienced it before and it's understandable to feel insecure. You'll have to operate completely differently and you may have to improvise. Keep in mind that: in this new situation your belief in your abilities is strengthened and that makes you stronger. Also, you enter a different world with people of a different mentality than what you were used to and that alone moves you forward.

Tip 3: "Only you define yourself and your goals"

Do you care more than you should about what other people think? Remember that you will not be accepted by everyone as you cannot keep everyone happy. If you want to maintain your integrity, make sure you prioritize your values and the decisions you make are in line with this list. This way you will come to terms with yourself and get stronger day by day.

What do you really want? To acknowledge your fear, to walk with it and have the people you love be by your side along with your ideal self that will be with you for life.

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Career Counsellor / Career Guidance
Member of the Greek Association of Consulting, Coaching & Mentoring-HCCMA

After completing my studies in Political Science and Public Administration at the University of Athens, I attended seminars in Customer Service, Public Relations and Sales in order to add more value to the services I offer. In recent years,I started a new chapter in my life through Life Coaching and Career Counseling and my Vision is to help people have a successful career path combined with balance in their personal life.

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